Unclear Things
by Echoing Fantasy
Summary: "You loved him, didn't you?" Vaan poses a question; Basch responds the only way he knows how. Hints of onesided Basch/Reks.


_Unclear Things_

The Cerobi Steppe was a beautiful place, Vaan thought as he considered the land around him. Perched on a rock farther away from the others, a whetstone balanced in his lap and a pile of sellable swords beside him, he took in the quiet area around him and smiled. Considering all that had gone on thus far, it was a nice form of respite, however long it lasted. He knew Balthier would be itching to head back out before long, and Ashe would want to move on, but for now everyone was content lazing in the sun, the light breeze keeping them from becoming overheated.

Quiet footsteps in the grass told him someone was approaching from behind; after a moment Vaan recognized the footsteps as Basch's. Ever since their discussion coming out of the mines those many days ago, the man had done his best to keep a good relationship with Vaan. The young man recognized Basch's guilt, understood that he was trying to protect Vaan in Reks' stead, and so never resisted when the man approached and begged conversation or questions. This time was no different.

Basch took a seat next to him, picking up one of the sharpened swords and lifting it up to the sun, examining its blade closely. Vaan held his breath. Basch had worked with swords long enough to tell when they were too dull or too sharp to sell and it was often he who judged Vaan's work whenever it came time for them to visit the traders in the city. The younger man watched as he went over each sword, splitting them into three groups. When he was done, he gestured for the sword in Vaan's hand and examined that one as well. It ended up in the third group.

"These," he tapped the first group, consisting of four swords, "need to be sharpened further. I'd say nine to ten strokes should make them perfect. These," the second group of two, "are rare and the best thing to do at this point would be to keep them until we hit the Port at Balfonheim. They'll be worth much more there. These," the third group was tapped, "are fine as they are. They can be sold here in town for a decent enough price. It should be enough for us to collect what we need from here before we leave."

Vaan nodded wordlessly, picking up a sword from the first group and placing it against the whetstone. For a time, the air between them was filled with the sound of work and nothing else. Basch made no attempt at conversation, merely watching as Vaan's hands guided the sword across the black mass again and again, until the ten strokes were done. Basch nodded and took the sword from him as he picked up another, repeating the performance.

When the fourth sword had been sharpened, Vaan paused for a moment, staring up at the sky as his thoughts drifted lazily in his head, much like the clouds above. In the back of his mind, something stirred. A question that had begged to be asked for the longest time, one Vaan had been putting off for reasons he himself did not understand. Somehow, it felt almost _right _to ask it now. "Basch."

"Hm?" The older man handed him another sword, and Vaan went back to sharpening, never pausing between strokes.

"I have a question for you. It's about my brother."

There's a shift in the air between them; Vaan felt a short pulse of something sharp and alive, much like the feeling he gets when fighting the Espers. "What is it?"

Vaan raised the blade to the sky, gently touching the sharpened edge with a finger. "You loved him, didn't you?"

There are no words that answered his question. Instead, a silence descended as the wind picked up, and for a moment it seemed as if the very world itself had gone still waiting for the answer. Basch did not move, did not even seem to breathe. Vaan considered that he might have crossed an invisible line with the man, then shook his head. The feeling was still there, telling him that this was _right. _This was something that, like their journey, had to be done. But like the journey, the question had to be navigated by steps. Vaan had been navigated alone until now, when Basch had joined him. And now they were at a point where, if Basch so chose, he could answer Vaan's question, and complete the journey.

But only if he chose to do so.

It was curious, how the patience he had always lacked just seemed to flow into him. He continued to sharpen swords, and Basch continued to imitate a statue while the silence hung overhead like a dark storm cloud. When the swords were all sharpened, Vaan put the whetstone down and stood, stretching himself out before walking away. Something told him distance would make this line of conversation go smoother. Besides, there was still a lot of area to be explored, and Vaan didn't want to wait until they had to cross through this area again to see it.

Naturally, wandering off on his own earned him quite a few looks from the nearby fiends, though none attacked him. Vaan was no longer the scrawny whelp he'd been back in the beginning; the various fights the world had thrown at their group had helped him build muscle and speed, making him a predator in his own right. He imagined that with the coming of the next few weeks, he would become even stronger and faster than a majority of the fiends they had encountered so far. For now though he didn't push it, unwilling to start something he himself couldn't finish. The last thing he needed was for Ashe to scold him for being a fool – again. He had gotten enough of that on the beginning half of this trip, and he really didn't want to have to listen to it for the rest.

He continued to climb upward, using skills developed in the deserts of Rabanastre to avoid places were the rocks crumbled and hidden pitfalls among the grass. He'd lived long enough to know those falls were placed there by larger fiends usually – fiends with an appetite that could easily take out a human. Behind him, soft footfalls signaled he had a follower. Basch was wisely following Vaan's every footstep, realizing, just like he had earlier during their trek through the various deserts, that this was one place where Vaan knew every element of the land around them. If only Balthier would give him as much credit, Vaan thought to himself with a smile. But then again Balthier was a hard ass with a Viera aiding him; he didn't need a sand-rat like Vaan to help him see the falls.

At long last he reached the highest point of the area; sighing happily, he dropped down onto a soft patch of grass and relaxed, tucking his arms under his head as a makeshift pillow. Basch drew closer, stopping beside him and staring out into the distance before taking a spot beside him. A look at the older man revealed to Vaan that he didn't quite seem to be on top of his game. Vaan's question had clearly stumped him. But that didn't stop him from trying to figure things out. "Why do you believe I loved Reks?"

Ah, now that was the question, wasn't it? What in Vaan's mind would make him believe that Basch had been in love with his brother, a young man that had died believing Basch had killed him? "Call it a hunch," the blond said, staring up at the sky. Raising a hand, he began to tick his reasons off on his fingers. "When you talk about him, you get this look on your face that you don't get when you talk about others who have died. It's a lot softer than you normally look, especially considering you're talking about trained soldiers. When someone insults or degrades his efforts, you get snappish, like someone insulted you personally. You moon over 'what could have been' instead of 'what was', and I regularly hear you mutter his name in your sleep." He dropped the hand and went back to staring at the sky, waiting for Basch's response.

The older man was staring at him now with a strange look on his face, as if he'd never considered the possibility Vaan would notice little things like that. "For a boy who knows nothing of the world, you are certainly quick to pay attention to details," he murmured, tone conveying shock and… respect? Guilt? Vaan wasn't sure. The blond shrugged.

"I may not always like what's going on around me, but that doesn't mean I don't pay attention. Almost everyone in our party seems to think that just because I'm a kid, I don't understand things or all I do is goof off. I don't. It's just I tend to look places most people don't, and they don't understand why I do what I do. It's frustrating to try to explain it, so I never do, and so I get labeled the idiot." He shrugged again, doing his best to ignore the man beside him. Somehow he felt comfortable telling all this to Basch, and that put him on his guard. He had _never _felt this comfortable around anyone, not even Penelo, which was saying something considering she was his childhood friend.

Basch appeared at a loss for words for a moment, and then slowly shook his head, leaning back onto one well-toned arm. "I never imagined," he said. "I had a thought that perhaps you were only pretending not to know things, that you were playing us for fools to make us feel better about our situations. Never did I ever stop to think that maybe you _were _paying attention, just in a different way." After a moment he chuckled dryly. "I'm a damn fool."

"You're the only one that knows, Basch. And truthfully I'd appreciate it if you kept it that way."

Basch looked alarmed. "You don't want the others knowing? Why ever not?"

"Because I don't feel comfortable enough to tell them."

"And yet you were comfortable enough to tell me? Who, according to you was in love with your brother?"

"You were, don't even try to deny it."

"Don't change the subject! Why are you comfortable enough to tell me and not them?"

"I'm not!" He paused, taking a deep breath. In his excitement he'd sat up and was staring Basch straight in the eyes, an action that made him feel like he had been hit by a mega-watt thunder spell. He shook it off and went on in a much quieter tone. "I trust you, okay? I trust you because Reks did, and you loved him, which pretty much tells me you would have taken care of him if you'd been given a chance."

Another deep breath. This was suddenly much harder than before. He had to tred carefully, lest Basch think something else of his words. "I know you're trying to make up for your mistake, as unpredictable as it was, by taking care of me. I know you won't hurt me, and I know you won't let me be hurt. That's why I'm telling you this. I don't trust the others enough because all my encounters with them have been less than glamorous, except for Penelo, and the only reason I don't tell _her _is because I don't want her thinking something else, like that I'm sick in the head or something. I don't want her thinking I'm arrogant or snobbish, or that I'm playing pretend. You see through lines others don't even realize are there, which is why I trust you to keep this secret of mine. You understand the necessity of it, why I need to keep it a secret, don't you?"

Basch nodded, not interrupting or attempting to say anything. "Then you understand why I need you to stay quiet. I don't know if I'll ever tell them the truth, so I can't promise that this is only going to happen for a set amount of time. I'd like to tell them, but…" He trailed off, uncertain of how to word it.

"Their actions will dictate your trust in them," Basch finished, understanding clear in his gaze, "if they are to be told of such things, you need to see with your own eyes that they can be trusted."

Vaan nodded, leaning back against the grass as the conversation dropped for the time being. Taking a deep breath, he let his body mold itself to the earth beneath him. Above them, the sky was slowly beginning to tint itself a darker blue with hints of orange; evening was falling quickly. Basch watched the sky with him, eyes half-lidded as he enjoyed the cool breeze beside the brother of the man he had once loved.

It was Fran who found them a mere twenty minutes later; she seemed to sense the peaceful aura around them and kept her distance, as if getting too close would shatter it. "Balthier says it is a good time to move on. Ashe agrees. We will wait down by the gates."

Basch nodded wordlessly, listening as the Viera moved out of range. After basking in the evening rays a moment more, he sighed and reached to wake Vaan. For a moment his mind played tricks on him, and he saw not Vaan's blue eyes, but Reks' grey ones. He blinked and it was gone, but the vision brought back the memory of the unfinished conversation he had held with Vaan earlier. He truly had loved Reks, but as with most things in his life it had been snatched from him before he could get more than a glimpse of his desire. Perhaps it was better that way – fewer temptations meant less trouble down the road.

And yet…

Vaan shifted beneath his touch, rolling onto his side and pushing himself up, groaning as he stretched. Basch watched him, feeling oddly peaceful as his thoughts shifted towards Vaan. The young man was more astute than most gave him credit for, although he was still just a child. Still, his wisdom on some subjects was sound, and despite the promise of dangerous adventures in the near future, the old soldier found himself looking forward to spending time with the younger man.

The two silently joined up with the others at the gates. Vaan took the time to dart off and sell the swords, bringing back the pouch of money and wordlessly handing it over to Penelo for safekeeping. As they moved out towards their next destination, Basch cast one last look back at the Steppe, lips twitching into a small smile.

He'd have to visit here again soon.


End file.
